Hello, remember me? I’m not sure I do, but that’s okay. You see I forgot who I was for a while and that’s when this whole blog thing started. I’d like to think that in that time around my last blog post I found myself. Or, at least a semblance of who I’m supposed to be. Yeah, that’s the best word I can think of for it all, a semblance.
I was in a dark place when I decided to start my blog. I was slaving through a dead-end call center job that left me feeling inadequate and miserable. My escape from it all was my writing. The belief that it would be the answer to my financial and emotional inadequacies drove me to rush home and focus intensively on writing new posts.
My writing kept me happy, the results on my posts kept me fulfilled, and the days passed by in a stressful blur. I thought this was the proverbial rat race we like to call life. I thought this was the way things were meant to be. I realized I was wrong when I left the call center industry after spending more than a decade chained to a desk.
I found a new career in retail sales with a locally owned company operating under the “Leon’s” franchise. It didn’t take me long to realize that life here would be infinitely better that I could have ever imagined in the call center industry. My feelings of inadequacies slipped away and my drive to write disappeared.
I think about it every now and again, especially when I’m driving. A good post idea, a new scene for my never written novel, or just a good ole’ fashion rant post. A good song would come over the radio and writing would be lost again as I sing along cruising home to crash on the couch and hope for a good sports game to be on the T.V.
In many ways, I’ve been afraid to write again. Realizing now that in the times before it was all to keep myself sane from an industry hell bent on making you very much insane. Did a new post mean I was losing myself again? Did it mean my new found happiness was just a fairytale all along?
The safe answer is no, but once you’ve been to the darkest parts of yourself the merest thought of return is enough to shy away. Enough to set down the pen and ride the wave. Hoping that the shore doesn’t come too quickly and break it all up.
Will I write again? Yes. Will I post again? Possibly. If I can find the right content or trigger, sure I will. For now, I’ll leave you be with this little update. Have something you’d love to see me write? Drop a comment off down below and let me know.